Japan Travel Moment: the Washlet

Of all the technological advances Japan is famous for, none is greater than toilet seat bidet, often known as a Washlet. I’m not sure if this is an amalgamation of “Wash and Toilet” or an acronym for “Wash Ass SHit Liberally Every Time.” These are a dream for weary bums wedged into airplane seats far too long. Sit down and you feel an angelic halo of warmth encompassing your entire gluteal region. Following output, you have multiple selections to choose from: front spray, rear spray, spray force, and some even feature a musical note that plays artificial water sounds during those ever so embarrassing moments of flatulence or excessive groaning. (A diet of raw fish and beef seems to incite the latter). These toilet seats are ubiquitous throughout Japan, greeting you at train stations, restaurants, and even in public washrooms—which are likewise prevalent throughout Japanese cities and spotlessly clean with floor to ceiling privacy doors. You never have to stare at some guy’s shoes and wonder if he’s staring at yours. We all do that right? Try all toilet features, but be careful of maximum spray force unless you’re comfortable with enemas.